


There's A Hole Inside My Boat

by ruby_wants_a_cookie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drama & Romance, F/M, Mention of Suicide and Self Harm, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-26 00:23:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruby_wants_a_cookie/pseuds/ruby_wants_a_cookie
Summary: Fighting to keep himself afloat, Eren Jaeger doesn't need any more on his plate. Too bad he's got the worst luck in the world...or maybe it's not so bad? Either way, it's a senior year he won't ever forget.





	1. Full Sail

**Author's Note:**

> WELP im starting another longfic. God help my sinful, sorry ass soul.
> 
> Hope you still enjoy the ride, folks.
> 
> Special thanks to nky for betaing this opener!

_SINA TRIBUNE - 9/26/2017_

_DRUNK DRIVING CRASH SURVIVOR ATTEMPTS SUICIDE_

_On Friday, September the 5th, Eren Jaeger, the sole survivor of a car crash that claimed not only one of his legs, but the lives of two friends, was found unconscious by his mother. The Police report Eren Jaeger: aged 17, was found lying by the foot of his head next to an empty bottle of painkillers. At the time, he was still in the midst of physical and psychological treatment, and it is likely depression also played a role in his current state.”_

_“It’s awful, really,” said Connie Springer, a friend and classmate of Eren’s.. Sasha Blouse, Connie’s girlfriend was one of the deceased victims._

_“He was never the same after the crash, not just after losing his leg but…he used to have this light in his eyes that had completely gone out after what happened. I think it felt wrong to him that he was the only one who made it out. That’s why he did it, I think. Just a guess though.”_

_If you have thoughts of suicide, confidential help is available for free at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call 1-800-273-8255. Their line is available 24 hours, every day._

* * *

“When we get home, I’m chopping off that mane of yours.”

“Whatever."

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

“Sure.”

“You’re not even going to ask how short I’m cutting it? I could just buzz it off, you know.”

Eren didn’t reply to his mother’s sly attempt at a joke, although he did appreciate her trying to lift his spirits. Her pushing his wheelchair through the hospital halls made him almost feel like a kid again. However, despite the spacious, elegantly decorated environment, Eren’s chest seemed to tighten as they got closer and closer to the exit. It was the same sensation he got when he’d left the hospital a month ago, the phantom pain he felt as he began his first days with his new left leg.

He inhaled deeply. _1, 2...3…_ Then exhaled. He’d picked up the exercise from therapy, though it didn’t help as much as he’d thought it would.

After checking out, it didn’t take them too long to find their sedan. Once Eren had shuffled himself into the front passenger seat, Carla said; “You look like Johnny Depp.”

“Hmm?”

“You look like you belong in Pirates of the Caribbean movie with that mustache of yours. The hair and fake leg doesn’t help at all,” she added as a jest. “Are you planning to keep it?”

“Should I?”

“I’d prefer my son not to look like an accused domestic abuse offender, so no.”

Eren flipped down the car mirror and looked at himself. Gaunt, tired eyes slightly hidden by hair that was already touching his shoulders. He _desperately_ needed to shave. He didn’t just have a mustache. He had a little goatee to match. To be honest, he’d known he’d looked awful for a long time. He just didn’t care.

Before he knew it, they were already pulling onto the driveway of their little townhouse on Shiganshina road. He was surprised to see _her_ already sitting on the doorsteps... not that it was really much of a surprise at all.

He slowly walked out of the car, bracing himself on its frame as she walked over.

“Hey, Eren.” Mikasa greeted. She was clad in her usual all black getup, as if she was ready to head to a goth rave or whatever it was called. Her little pigtail tickled his cheek as she embraced him.

“Mikasa,” Eren said. “I’m-“

“Don’t. It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Mikasa insisted. “Armin’s here too.”

“You both didn’t go to school today?” Eren said, confused. “Why?”

Mikasa gave him one of her rare, bright eyed smiles. “Because we missed you, dummy. You were asleep every time we went over. We wanted to be the first to see you.”

Eren managed a tiny grin. “Sorry about that, the drugs they had me on made me ridiculously slee—”

“EREN!” Eren nearly toppled backward from the force of his other best friends’ hug. Armin Arlert might’ve been the shortest and weakest guy in their class, but that didn’t stop him from being able to deliver a crushing bear hug.

“Oh my _god_ , Eren,” Armin sobbed.

Eren just hoped he wasn’t getting snot on his shirt. “There’s no need to cry, man.”

But Armin just sobbed even harder. “You _asshole_ . You… _never do that again_ , you hear me?”

Eren didn’t reply. He should’ve known they would’ve done this for him; they were his closest friends after all. He didn’t bother asking whether they did well on their exams: there was no way they could’ve, not while he was still in the hospital.

The three of them entered the house together. His father would’ve been there to greet him as well, had he not been scheduled to perform a root canal, which didn’t bother Eren in the slightest. He was dreading the moment when they would have to talk anyway.

They made their way up to his room, as they usually did when they came over. Eren had the privilege of having a very spacious bedroom. He’d cleaned it out the day before he’d decided to pick up a pen and write what he’d presumed would be the last thing he’d ever written. Part of him wondered whether or not Armin would’ve even accepted his blu-ray and game collection as a parting gift.

Mikasa and Armin took their seats on the two gaming recliners on the floor, while Eren booted up the Xbox for their usual round of Halo 5. “Carla’s already signed you up with Levi every Saturday,” Mikasa said as they waited for the game to load.

“You’re shitting me,” Eren said, aghast. “What was wrong with Miss Ral’s appointments?”

“Miss Ral isn’t a certified psychiatrist. And don’t worry, he’ll go easy on you,” Mikasa reassured. “He’ll be a lot easier on you anyway since you’re his patient. Carla would kill him if he didn’t.”

Eren managed a chuckle. The wrath of his sweet, sweet mother was something that could made even Levi quake in fear. “We’ll see.”

“And if it still doesn’t go well…” Armin added nervously. “You can talk to us too.”

“There’s not much we can talk about anyway.”

“Eren, you said that before, and what happened next? You shouldn't have to feel guilty anymore.”

 _That’s not true…_ Eren thought, wincing at the memory it brought up. _You’ll never forgive me if I told you the truth._

“I just want to move on with my life, okay?” He _had_ to drive the conversation elsewhere. They would have to stop bugging him eventually, right? “I thought you said you didn’t even expect me to apologize.”

The doorbell rang. Eren ignored the sound, knowing his mother would answer it herself.

“That’s not what it’s about, Eren.” Armin placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder. “We just want to know-”

“EREN!” Carla bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. “I gotta run some errands and probably won’t be back til dinner. But, there’s someone here who would like to speak to you?”

“Coming!” Eren sighed and got up from his bed. Mikasa and Armin followed not far behind him. _Who could it be?_

It was as if his head had shut down completely once he’d reached the foot of the stairs. For a moment he stood, frozen in shock that the person he’d thought he’d never see again was standing in his house right before him.

* * *

 

_His hand was searing from the heat of the spilt coffee and the fact that the air conditioning had broken down for the day didn’t help._

_But at the moment, something else held his attention entirely._

_The girl he’d just run into had the most piercing pair of blue eyes he’d ever seen. They held a haughty, icy coolness that seemed to bore straight into his soul._

_“Are you blind?”_

_He blinked once and then realized just how big the stain on her shirt really was._

_“You should’ve watched where you were going, prick!”_

* * *

 

 

The gears in his head started turning again as soon as the memory washed over him. Every memory of her, including the way she looked, passed through his thoughts, ignited by the pure surprise and unbridled shock of see her in the flesh before him. Her hair, her luscious, _ridiculously_ well groomed locks of blonde, and her elegant, beautiful features matched with striking cerulean eyes.

But the striking blue eyes he remembered were now baggy, tired, and the rest her face lacked the usual makeup.The ratty looking windbreaker and navy jeans stained with mud streaks added to her haggard appearance. She’d clearly hadn’t had much of a good night’s sleep in quite some time.

“Historia...”

“Eren…” she spoke, so softly she could’ve whispered it. “Wow…you look…different.” Her eyes dropped to his feet. “I heard about what happened on the news...you doing alright?”

“Yeah,” Eren said. Historia gave a small smile, rubbing her arm nervously. “Uh…have _you_ been alright?”

“Just tired. It took me a week to find where you lived. Well, not exactly where you lived, since my sister ended up moving here too. But it took a while to make sure I wasn’t caught. It’s been a long ride. I’m probably on the missing person’s list already.”

“I knew I saw you from somewhere!” Armin suddenly gasped. “You’re Historia Reiss! Congressman Rod’s daughter!”

“Yeah…” Historia smiled weakly.

“This is Armin and Mikasa, by the way.” Eren gestured to his childhood friends. “I met Historia at the State Musical camp over the summer,” he explained. “She’s a...good friend. “You wanna sit down?” he asked.

“Sure.”

Eren motioned toward the couch. As the others seated themselves, he walked over to the kitchen and grabbed three porcelain cups as well as an orange juice carton from the fridge. He wasn’t thirsty, but he figured Historia probably was.

“Thanks, Eren.” Historia said. “I heard about the accident...was that why you haven’t answered my texts? I was so worried.”

“Yeah.” His phone had been reduced to splinters, along with most of his leg. “Thank you for worrying though. I’m doing alright.”

Historia nodded, but didn’t speak. An uncomfortable silence followed as they sat, drinking their juice. Eventually Eren decided to break it. “So…what are you doing here, Historia?”

“I…honestly wanted to tell you this alone. But…to be honest your friends will find out eventually, so…”

“We’ll still keep it secret if you want.” Armin says with a smile. “Right, Mikasa?”

“Sure.” Mikasa gave a curt nod and poured herself a cup of water.

Historia drummed her fingers on the couch armrest. “Well…” She sighed, and inhaled deeply, hesitant.  “To make a long story short...I’m pregnant.”

The gears in his head shut down completely. Eren leaned back, reeling, and would’ve cursed aloud had he not been distract by the sound of Mikasa choking on her drink.

“S-Sorry,” she managed to let out between coughs.

“Well, _snap_ ,” Armin exclaimed quite loudly, eyes as wide as frisbees. 

“Jesus, Armin,” Eren patted Mikasa’s back as she sputtered liquid from her nostrils. He had to fight the urge not to chuckle; he hadn’t expected her reaction to be _that_ explosive.

“It’s not like _you’re_  the father. But…” He tried to recall as much as he could of that night. “Didn’t we take...precautions?” His face heated in embarrassment.

“Condoms can break, you know. And gosh, you shouldn’t be afraid of saying that word, Eren.” Historia chuckled, grinning a little. “We’re all grown up here, aren’t we?”

In the corner of his eye, Eren saw Armin give his _boyyy you’re sooo in trouble_ smile. This was going along _swimmingly_. He was surprised Historia was even in the mood to joke after revealing her news.

Thankfully, Mikasa managed to stop coughing and immediately said, “So…your father kicked you out? He didn’t even force you to get an abortion or anything?”

Historia nodded. “I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.”

“Jesus…” Armin shook his head in awe. “Rod Reiss was already enough of a jerk as a politician, but I’m not surprised he’s still one in real life as well.”

“It’s not…” Historia stopped, as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to say what she was about to. “He’s still dealing with losing all this family.”

Eren’s gut twisted as he recalled what his mother had told him a few years ago. When he was around nine or ten years ago, Senator Reiss’s family had been involved in a horrible car crash. He hadn’t been in the car at the time, but the entire state had been in a state of mourning for him. Even his most adamant political opponents paid their respects.

He’d formally taken custody of Historia not long after. Historia’s mother had become the victim of an accidental drug overdose, and Rod was given no choice but to take her in. One would think the bond between father and daughter would strengthen, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

Eren stopped patting Mikasa’s back when he saw that she appeared alright,save for the fact that she had gone completely stone faced. Whether in angry, disgust, fear, or concern, Eren had no idea. Usually, Mikasa wasn’t so difficult to read, but now he could not even guess as to what she was thinking.

“That shouldn’t excuse it,” Armin said, grimacing in disgust. “Hasn’t he gone to a psychiatrist or something?”

“Look, whatever happens , I have someone to take care of me now. My sister’s agreed to take me in.”

“Sister?” Eren asked. “Did Rod have _another_ illegitimate child besides Historia?”

“Yeah,” Historia explained. “She left home when she graduated high school, about a year before the accident. They’ve haven’t been in contact with each other since. It wasn’t easy to find her. She changed her name to Frieda Lenz, and luckily, she lives in the same town you do. She used to come by my mom’s house and babysit me when I was super young. She seemed super surprised when I told her I wanted to see her. But…I figured I’d stop by here first.”

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. He and his friends must’ve looked intimidating, waiting for her to spill her story. Eren suddenly had the urge to hug her hard, still in awe that she was here, in the flesh, in his home. Instead, he poured her a cup of orange juice. “Are you alright? Seriously…I can’t imagine what you’ve had to go through…”

“It’s fine. I’m just…” Historia sniffed, inhaling deeply. “Oh _God_ …”

As she burst into tears, Eren immediately went over and embraced her. Armin and Mikasa veered their eyes to the floor, clearly uncomfortable. Eren didn’t care.

“Hey, it’s okay…”

“ _Fuck_ , Eren,” Historia choked. “I was so worried. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to find her—god, I’m such a mess...”

 _So am I, Historia,_ Eren thought as he allowed her to drench his shoulder with her tears. _So am I._

* * *

 

“So are you gonna tell your parents?”

“I’ll tell her when she and Dad are home,” Eren said. “It’s not like I can keep this secret for long anyway.”

“No shit,” Mikasa said, which caught Eren off guard. It was not very like Mikasa to curse.

Thankfully, Historia hadn’t stayed upset for long. After she’d run out of tears, Armin had decided to find something on Netflix for them to watch, presumably to try to cheer her up a little. Historia would be waiting for at least another two hours until her older sister returned home from work. Given how long she usually took to shop, Carla wouldn’t be back for another three.

Armin managed to keep Historia out of her stressful state by talking about the show they were currently watching, and judging from the laughing he’d heard, it was working. Eren and Mikasa had decided to finish off the last few boxes of macaroni and cheese they had in the closet.

Mikasa turned on the faucet, waiting for the hot water to fill into the pot she’d prepared. “But that’s the least of your worries right now. What are you planning to do about it?”

“Support her I guess?” he replied. Wasn’t that the most noble thing to do? He couldn’t imagine allowing her to deal with this alone.

“How?” Mikasa flicked off the water and put her hands on her hips in a very manner that reminded him of his mother when she grilled him about failing a test. “You’re entering senior year. You haven’t decided what colleges you want to apply to. You don’t even have a job, yet somehow you’ve got the gall to even consider supporting a child.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Easier said than done.”

“We don’t even know yet what she wants to do with the kid, or even keep it.” Eren sighed deeply. He didn’t feel like talking anymore. A sinking feeling; hunger, or perhaps something else deeper, had taken root in his belly. Every word that poured out of his mouth just made the sensation worse. “I just...”

“To be honest,” Mikasa said. “This might be good for you.”

Eren raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“It’ll give you something to keep your mind off of, well...”

“Maybe,” Eren said. But he knew that the events of that night would not leave his mind for a long, long time. Living with the lie was something he was going to have to work out for himself. There was no way he could even let a hint of the truth slip from his mind. It would ruin everything he’d worked so hard to build and maintain with his family and friends… there was no way they would trust him again.

They continued to cook in silence.


	2. Tipsy Turvy

_“Do you never button your shirt properly?”_

_Eren tried not to groan aloud. Only a week away from home at the State Music Program, and he’d already gotten himself into trouble without even trying. The girl whose shirt he'd stained, it turned out, was none other than the first violinist: Historia Reiss. They were standing outside the local laundromat, having paid a pretty penny to have her stained uniform cleaned._

_“Why do you_ _care?” He asked, bewildered by her naggy, condescending attitude toward him. He’d never met someone as stuck up as she was. “Isn’t musical ability more important than how one dresses when I come here?”_

_“I don’t care. I’m just shocked that the coaches haven’t noticed already.”_

_“Case in point?”_

_“It’s just...where I attend school it_ is _a big deal.”_

_“Well, it’s one less thing to worry about now, thankfully.”_

_Historia didn’t humor him, which hurt a little even though Eren expected it. So many of the teens at the camp treated it like it was a matter of life and death. Which, in a way, it was. Their camp would be competing nationwide with other state orchestras, and the winning camp would be awarded not only prestige and honor but also...a couple thousand dollars in scholarships for each member of the winning orchestra. Plus it would look great on their college recommendation letter; not that getting admitted into the camp wasn't impressive enough._

_“Hey, what’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing.”_

_“You’re worried about testing, aren’t you?”_

_Eren himself was a rather good trumpet: he'd been playing since middle school. He didn't mind staying as the 4th Trumpet, but the first chair violinist was a revered and coveted position. They would be testing for their first round of seating in 3 weeks, just enough time to learn and master the material they were given._

_“It’s just...I don’t know if I can keep my position. I’m not losing it to the_ bitch _next to me, for sure.”_

_The string players were a particularly vicious bunch, and from what he’d seen almost animalistic in their feverish competition for each other. Historia was only in first because of her performance in the entrance recitals, and Eren couldn't help but feel sorry for her situation._

_“Hey, I’ve heard you play. I think you’re ridiculously talented. You’re lucky to be where you’re at, and I’m sure that even if you don’t get first chair, you’ll still do fine.”_

_“It’s not my decision. If I’m not first chair...I’m not going to this camp anymore. My father insisted.”_

_“Jesus, really? Why?”_

_“I’m...why am I telling you this, anyway?”_

_“Is there a reason why you shouldn’t be? Seriously, I’m paying the fee for the cleaning, and I said I was sorry…”_

_She looked up at him. At that moment, Eren did not detect a smidgen of the contempt or pretentiousness she usually directed at him. The only thing he saw was the fear and familiar desperation in her eyes. And at that moment, Eren realized, that what this girl was seeking at the moment was more than just clean clothes._

_“You’re right.” She inhaled deeply, clearly hesitant, before beginning her tale. “My father, as you know, is a very influential man…”_

* * *

 

 

“What if this doesn’t go well?”

Eren leaned back into the driver’s seat. It hadn’t been a long drive to get to Frieda’s home, and even if it had, he wouldn't have minded. He’d spent a month in therapy just to be able to stand, and thankfully it hadn’t been his right leg which he lost. Now he had a newfound appreciation of the sensation he got when taking the wheel.

The elder Reiss lived in the upper west area of Shiganshina, at an apartment complex considerably more spacious and glamorous than Eren’s townhouse. The towering brick red building seemed to grow taller and taller as they drove toward it into the lot.

“Why wouldn’t it go well?” Eren asked as he scanned for an empty parking spot. “You said she sounded nice and was willing to let you stay.”

Historia sighed, eyes cast downward. “What if she was sounding nice just to, well, sound nice? She might let my father know.”

“You said she hadn’t spoken to your father in years,” Eren said. “Why worry now?”

“My father has a lot of connections. What if he paid her to lie and bring me back?”

Eren couldn’t find an immediate answer. There had been rumors, a few lawsuits surrounding Rod Reiss regarding some business deals he’d made in the past, all which had either been dismissed or had a hung trial. It was odd that one man could undergo so much drama while coming out virtually unscathed, but that was to be expected in politics. Rod Reiss continued to reassure his supporters that he was indeed a man of the people, and he had a fairly loyal following among

“At this moment you should focus on the here and now. If you don’t go, you’ll never know. And if things go wrong, I will fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re somewhere safe, alright?”

“Alright.”

They parked and walked into the building, where a gust of warm, conditioned air hit them. The interior was decorated modestly, not unlike the hospital Eren had left earlier that day. Noticing that Historia still looked uneasy, he took her hand. Her eyes widened, and he returned her surprise with a soft smile. He’d shaved his facial hair and pulled his hair back in a manbun. He briefly touched the front of his now neated bangs.

“You look good,” Historia said, noticing his gesture.

“Thanks.” Eren grinned.

After a short elevator ride. Historia let go of his hand, and with a deep breath, rung the doorbell.

The otherwise short wait felt like eons. But then, slowly the door opened. A young, pretty woman with wide, bright eyes as large and round as hers but filled with warmth. The resemblance between them was uncanny, except her bangs were parted in the middle and her hair was as black as ink. And she had to be at least six feet tall. Senator Reiss looked to be a rather stout man, from the photos he’d seen of him, but Frieda was a giant compared to him. She must’ve been at least 4 inches taller than Eren, who was already five foot ten.

“Hi, I’m Historia, we spoke on the pho—”

“ _Oh my gosh_.”

Without warning, Frieda pounced onto Historia and embraced her. Judging by Historia’s pained and shocked expression, Frieda could give a mean bear hug. “Oh my gosh,” Frieda gasped, and for a moment Eren thought she might burst into tears. “You’re so _big_.”

“It’s really nice to see you again, Frieda. Even though I don’t really remember you at all.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. You and your friend, come in!”

Eren  held open the door for her as she stepped into the house. Despite the otherwise modern aesthetic of the house, it had a warm, pleasant atmosphere, aided by the faintest scent of cinnamon candles.

“So…you’re the Paulie Bleeker, aren’t you?” the older woman asked in a sharp tone, as if she were a teacher questioning a student.”

“Yeah…yes ma’am.” Eren replied, and then slapped himself mentally for calling her that.

Frieda rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t you _ma’am_ me. So, Historia told me...orchestra camp? Really? I’d thought nothing would be able to get past Rod Reiss’s brainwashing.”

“ _Frieda…”_ Historia blushed a beet red.

Eren felt his cheeks warm as he grinned. “It wasn’t easy. Historia was pretty distant to me at first.”

“It honestly runs in the family,” Frieda said with a sigh.

“Is Rod Reiss really that much of a jerk?” Eren asked. The idea that anyone could be so cruel and controlling was incredibly foreign to him.

“I left home when I was eighteen.” Frieda explained, her smile morphing into a frown as she recalled a memory she clearly wished to put behind her. “That man threatened to send me to conversion therapy after he found me with a girl in my room.”

“What about your mother? Your siblings?”

Frieda shook her head, her anger giving way to sadness. “Mother wasn’t much better to be honest. Both my parents blamed each other for my “issues”. My little brothers were too young to really do anything but agree. I’m not that angry with them. I still think about them a lot, even all these years later…” Her expression of melancholy quickly morphed into a furious snarl. “And to think that he had the guts to fucking _beat_ _you_?”

“Frieda—”

“Historia, sweetheart, how are you perfectly okay with him getting away with this?”

“Because he can’t threaten me anymore. I took pictures of my face and sent a few of them to him as proof. The pictures? I threatened to release them to the public if he tried going after me.”

“Wait, hold on, hold on. He fucking beat you and you’re just letting it slide?”

“I pity him, Frieda. He was drunk when he did it, and he’d been drinking for a long time. No that doesn’t justify any of the bullshit he did to the both of us but I can’t help but pity him. I’m punishing him anyway by leaving him miserable and alone, unless he finds some other bitch to knock up.”

There was an assertiveness in Historia that Eren hadn’t ever seen before. A confidence not unlike one he’d had so long ago. He’d seen hints of it when they’d first met, long before they became friends.

“He misses you, Frieda,” she added. “He hasn't forgotten about you.”

Frieda sighed, pressing her fingers to her temple in frustration. “Fine. But we’re going to have to contact the high school, who will probably alert Father, which will probably lead him-”

“Here, I know.” Historia said. “But we’ll face that when the time comes.”

Frieda sighed, but nodded in agreement. “And if the need arises, we’ll give him hell. Well, hon, no offense, but you really look like you need a shower. Now. I want to speak with Eren alone for a minute anway.”

Eren barely managed to contain his nervousness. Although the older Reiss had shown nothing but a kind and welcoming demeanor so far, he had no idea how she would react to him...especially considering she’d probably already suspected what his relationship to Historia was. He’d been yelled at his mother far too many times in his life, but something about Frieda made him dread the idea of seeing her in rage.

“Bathroom’s just down the hallway, last door on the left. Clothes are already in the plastic bag on the counter. They should fit you,” Frieda said.

“Thank you _so_ much,” Historia replied with a smile, and Eren thought she might tear up with joy at the relief that she would no longer have to worry for her future, for now at least.

She made her way down the hall, leaving the two of them standing alone in the living room.

“Let’s sit, Eren.” Frieda motioned to the large leather sofa in the living room, positioned right in front of an enormous flat screen.

Eren walked over and sat down. The seats were extremely comfortable and warmer than he’d expected. No thanks to electric heating, probably. Frieda sat at his right, giving him just enough space to not feel uncomfortable.

“So…” Frieda began. “Part of me should thank you, I guess, though part of me should also want to punch you in the face.”

“Are you going to?”

Frieda chuckled. “Hey, I’m not really mad at all. You’re a good guy, I can tell. I haven't seen Historia since she was eight and still living with her shithead of a mother. I'd always wished I could've been the one to adopt her when her mother overdosed...still, Historia’s lucky to have you.”

“Oh, um… we’re not…”

“Oh, you’re not? Well, then you’re even more of a good guy for stepping up and taking responsibility. But I’m assuming you’re more than strangers, no?”

“Yeah.”

“By the way, you doing alright? I know it must be a sore subject, but what happened is kinda the talk of the town…”

“Yeah. And don’t worry, I’m doing alright.”

“If you need to talk about it with someone, I’m all ears. Historia too.”

“How do you know?”

“She was super nervous about coming to visit you. She didn’t want to burden you with anything, you have enough dealing with her as it is. And I’m sure it’s going to affect her choice on whether or not she wants to keep the baby.”

“Do you know if she does?”

“I don’t, but I’m willing to support her with any choice she makes. What I don’t want is for anything you’re dealing with to affect that choice.”

_It’ll give you something to keep your mind off of, well…_

“That’s not gonna happen.” Eren nodded. “

“I’ll talk with her once she settles down. Maybe over the weekend, after I talk to my parents about it.”

“Good luck with that, man.”

Eren noticed the clock on the wall. He knew he couldn't stay any longer. “I should probably go, my parents will need me home. Historia has my new number, use that if you need to text me too.”

“You’re not going to say goodbye to Historia?” Frieda got up and gestured toward the kitchen. “Stay for a while, we have plenty of food for all of us.”

“It’s alright. She knows I can’t stay for long anyway.”

“Well, goodbye then.” Frieda said as Eren made his way to the door. He put on his shoes.

“Goodbye, Frieda. And thank you, for not being an asshole. Historia doesn’t need any more in her life to deal with now.” Eren closed the door behind him. Historia was in good hands, he thought. Whatever things she needed, it probably wouldn’t require much from him, and he was fine with that.

He was probably going to be more of a burden to her than she ever would to him anyway.

* * *

 

 

It was as if they’d been zapped by a freeze ray.

It would’ve been far more nerve wracking explaining it all to his parents if Mikasa and Armin hadn’t volunteered to stay. They clearly knew he wanted some much needed emotional support.

When he’d finished, what followed seemed like the longest and most awkward silence he'd ever had during a conversation with his parents. They didn't say anything, they just gaped at him as if they had forgotten how to speak. Until...

“Eren...I just want to let you know that I’m glad you told us this upfront, and didn’t tried to hide this from us.”

“And...well,” Grisha interrupted, “To be honest, I’m not surprised.”

“What do you mean?” Eren said. On his right, Mikasa stood and took his hand, while Armin stood on his left, ready to take his other hand if need be, because he was a good friend who didn’t care if it was commonly seen as a romantic gesture or not. Nothing could stop them from supporting him, even if he tried.

“Y-You see…” Grisha suddenly grinned widely, stuttering as if he were trying to contain a laugh. “You weren’t exactly planned either…”

“Grisha! How can you treat this as funny?”

“Carla, I know you’re mad, but—”

“You got an A in sex ed, Eren!” Carla shrieked, which caused Armin to choke. “Your only A that year, as I recall, besides band.”

“I told you, the condom must’ve broken or something.”

“It’s your mother’s fault for that. You must’ve gotten your stamina from her.”

“NOT WHILE THE KIDS ARE HERE, GRISHA.”

Mikasa and Armin doubled over, both in total hysterics, which only made Eren feel even worse.

Carla looked as if she were about to murder her husband. “How are you joking at a time like this?”

Grisha just shrugged his shoulders. “Well, shouting at him angrily isn’t going to help the situation one bit. But we’ll punish him of course: no Xbox for a month, for a start. And you’re grounded as well, unless you tell us exactly what you wish to do. Mikasa, Armin, you two are still allowed to visit as much and as long you want.”

“Thanks, Grisha.” Armin said as Eren sighed in relief that he would live to see another day.

“As for the girl…goodness. I knew voting against him every year was the right thing to do,” Grisha said.

“This girl...Historia, is making a huge mistake,” Carla said. “As a pretty good lawyer, I could easily help her start a domestic abuse lawsuit against him, if she’s willing.”

“I will,” Eren said. “But i doubt she’ll accept it.”

“Just let her know we’re willing to help too. Perhaps the only thing good that’s come out of this mess is that she’s finally away from that man.”

“Do you know if she’s keeping it?” Grisha asked.

“No...I honestly don’t.”

“Whatever the case, she’ll still be under her father’s health insurance. I’ll pull a few strings if she visits me. No charge.”

“Thanks, Dad.” It was times like these when he realized that he had the best possible parents for him. That didn’t mean they were perfect, of course, but they couldn’t have reacted more perfectly to his news. And for Eren, that was enough.

* * *

 

 

“So, that went...better than I expected,” Eren said as he closed the front door behind him. It was nine in the afternoon, and, with their bellies filled with his mother’s cooking, time for his friends to head home. Both of them lived close enough to walk to their houses alone, but Eren decided to join them anyway. He’d felt like he needed some fresh air, feeling constrained even though he had just lifted something quite big off his chest.

Mikasa smirked. “If things went south, I was prepared to fight Carla for you. It would’ve been the only way you could’ve survived.”

“If it were me, Gramps would’ve murdered me on the spot, for sure.” Armin said. He hasn’t gone hunting in years.”

Eren chuckled. He could always rely on his friends for offering some much needed levity after a stressful situation. He knew how intimidating his parents could be, even though they’d all known each other since he was in diapers. “That is if Annie didn’t already kill you first.”

“Good point. Thankfully we haven’t had to risk that yet.”

“Wait, did you just admit you’re still a virgin, Armin?” Eren asked.

Armin froze in place, lifting an eyebrow. “...Yeah?”

Eren was astounded. “Dude, what the heck? It’s been over a year, man. Are you...ace or something?”

“ _You’ve got to be kidding me._ ” Armin glared at him, though he looked more annoyed than angry. “We’re just ready yet. And I’m not considering it anytime soon considering what you’re dealing with now.”

“God, that was a sick burn, bro. Sorry,” Eren said, feeling guilty. Both Armin and Annie had taken _eons_ to get together, despite the fact that they’d both held feelings for each other since freshman year. Armin in particular was keen about taking things slowly, given that despite his superb intellect and his flawless grades, he knew next to nothing about pleasing girls. Which was fitting, he guessed, since Annie wasn’t like any girl Eren had ever met, and didn’t mind her boyfriend at all.

“It’s alright,” Armin assured. They finally made it to his little ranch style home. The lights were all off, signifying that Armin’s grandfather was probably already asleep. As he walked up to his front door, he turned back to his friends. “Hey, I just wanna wish you luck, alright? We’re here for you. Don’t forget that.”

“See you, Armin,” Eren replied.

“See you,” Mikasa said.

Mikasa’s house—where she lived with Levi, her closest living relative—was only another five minutes away. For a while, they didn’t say a word to each other as they walked, the crickets chirping under a starry fall sky.

Then, when they finally reached the brick red home, Mikasa spoke up.

“Eren…”

“Yeah?”

Mikasa stopped right in her tracks. “I just wanted you to know…You’re special to me. To a lot of people. To think that you could forget that…”

“I’m sorry.” Eren couldn’t imagine what his...incident had done to her emotionally. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he knew that he had to make it up to her somehow. “I am so so sorry for all the hurt I must have caused you.”

“It’s alright. That’s all I needed to hear. I forgive you.”

She walked to the front door and entered her home without looking back, leaving Eren completely alone for the first time that night.

Eren didn’t go home just yet. The local elementary school, or more specifically, its playground, was only a few minutes away. It was a warm night, warmer than was expected during fall, which only made it even more of a unmissable opportunity.

He walked past the green chain link fence, opened the gate, and walked over to the little teeter totter that was placed close by. It had been recently spray painted with a fresh, clean coat of black which gave the ancient thing new life. But to him it was still the same great place where he could just sit, think, and relish the night air.

_He was going to be a father._

Well, maybe. He hadn’t bothered to ask Historia about her decision, given how stressed out she seemed to be, and he didn’t want to put give her any more immediate pressure. Still, the possibility both filled him with a strange excitement and a unnerving terror. Was he even able to involve himself in someone else’s life to that extent? Did he even care for Historia enough to make that commitment? He’d sworn to support whatever decision she made...but there were still strands of lingering doubt remaining. 

He decided to remove his prosthetic, and put it beside him while he pushed himself up and down on the teeter totter with his remaining foot. Though the lifting feeling was no longer as exhilarating, given his age and that he was far too big to sit on it comfortably, It was oddly euphoric, pretending to be a kid again. It helped him clear out the clutter in his head.

He had never been great at making friends while growing up, besides the ones he'd known since he could walk and talk. He was nowhere near the most popular kid at his school. He’d made mistakes that cost the lives of two good people he cared for. He’d paid greatly for it.

And now he’d ruined another life. _Again_. But this time...he could do something to heal the hurt. He could be the best friend he could for Historia, offer whatever emotional support he could give for her during this time. Be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and if need be, the best father he could be while he keeping his secrets at bay as well. Given recent events, she would eventually pester him about the accident, the temptation would be greater than ever before.

But that sure as hell wasn’t gonna stop him, was it?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts? If not, thanks for reading anyway!


End file.
